I couldn't tick again, it was getting ridiculous now. I was empty all over.
It was Booth Day so I followed the yellow corridors all the way to the Watch Sphere. There was nobody to hold my hand because we have to go alone and we are allotted our own times. I don't like the Watch Sphere because it's claustrophobic. You have to go though a door into a door into a door into another door until you find the one with your name written on in chalk. They move the rooms around all the time so sometimes I can spend forever trying to find mine.
Sometimes they spell my name wrong or miss out a letter or mix my name up with somebody else's so my name isn't my own but an amalgamated name. It must be because there are so many of us living here now and they must struggle to remember us.
The room is always dark but not as dark as my capsule at night. And it's a squeeze to get in. I'm not much bigger than the rooms we are given. In fact they are not really rooms at all but hutches. Hutches that you would put a small animal in, like a rabbit or a porkine.
I sat against the wall and waited for it to start. If I had to explain it to you, it's a bit like helmet but instead of listening to it you watch it instead. I tried to get as comfortable as I could in the space I was given but I can never get comfortable. I get cramp in my head as well as in my legs. I get so uncomfortable I always feel like I need somebody to put myself back together again when I've finished.
The screen is only small. Not much bigger than my head. So I get eye cramp as well.
Most of it makes no sense at all. It is just a lot of squiggles and spots and patterns that fade in and out. I occasionally spot something I recognise like a butterfly or an egg or a chimney. But most of it is unrecognisable. But they assure us that everything is real and everything that we see actually happened at one time or another and that it is why it's important for us to watch. It's how we know things. And that's why Booth day and helmet are so important. Nobody tells us anything apart from what we are given so we have to make the most of it.
To be honest I was just glad to be away from the Reapers. That is what they are called, I know that now. And we all have one, it's just that I'm the only one that can see them. I wish I didn't but I can't argue with what a Crackle give me. You have to get what you are given. I'd rather have something else like the power of invisibility or levitation or mindspeak but I see reapers instead.
I know what they are now as well. They wait. That is what they do. They live on our backs and spend every waking second of our lives waiting.
Waiting for us to come to the end of our journey. Waiting to take care of our final need. Death.
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